in peace 28.11

i am too on the nose. 

my laugh is too loud

too cutting.

screachy,

like a witch. 

i swear too much. 

men physically cringe

when my tongue touches my top teeth,

cunt. 

i’m a slut!

you shift in your seat

when i tell you how much i love sex. 

a lot. 

my hair needs brushing!

my clothes are too shapeless,

too revealing

too bright. 

my skin is bad without makeup. 

my redness makes me…

hard to look at,

harsh on the eye. 

i eat too much

drink too much

fuck too much

shout too much

sit like a man

sound like a man

talk like a man.

well you know what?

maybe it would all be easier if i was.

would my overt sexuality still make you uncomfortable?

or would i be 

a stud,

or just a typical man?

would my language still need curbing?

or would i get laughs and back smacks?

would my clothes still be too revealing?

or could i post a topless photo and get 200 likes?

i’m not sorry. 

i never will be. 

my mind fills every inch of my body 

my body fills every inch of the space i occupy

i know who i am. 

see, it’s not about being a woman. 

it’s about being seen as a bad thing. 

a thing to be shushed 

or talked over

or sneered at. 

i simply want to exist. 

to drink

and smoke

and shag

in peace.