disruption in my gut 25.2

his face opened up like a flower,

causing disruption in my gut.

the cheap deckchairs

barely holding us afloat.

there’s three cigarettes left in the pack we share,

with the sun setting

we aim to time it

so to empty the packet

by dark.

you chose this spot,

near the cliff edge.

i told you it’ll be too windy

but you insisted.

in the palace of my mind i hold your hand

and you hold mine.

but in the ruins of the universe,

we remain a foot away from each other

yet to touch at all.

and it’s lucky i’m wearing sunglasses

otherwise you’d notice tears glazing over my eyes

as i bite my tongue and hold my breath

so as not to blurt out

I LOVE YOU.

and poison the peaceful air

with unreciprocated feelings.