novel excerpt 8.9

“i just want someone to think i’m not stupid.” i half-cried, exasperated. “no one thinks your stupid.” he scoffed, i could tell he wasn’t taking me seriously, again. “yes, you do.” i pointed my index finger at him, he got off the sofa then and walked into the kitchen. “my fault again, i’m the bad … Continue reading novel excerpt 8.9 →

a conversation with myself I

I’m sad. Again? What? Yes. Is there a limit or something? Well no, but they’re getting more and more regular. What are? Your episodes. The blank-face-wall-staring, the gut wrenching realisations that life is futile and pointless, the scrunched up faces… Alright that’s enough of that. I’m sad and we need to figure out why and … Continue reading a conversation with myself I →

novel excerpt 2.11

“i’m going away.” i blurted, leaning lifeless against the garden wall. “what do you mean?” he asked, lighting up another cigarette. “i... there’s some things i need to clear up. i’m leaving the country for a while, few months maybe, maybe longer. i’ve got a friend in the netherlands. you’re the first person i’ve told, … Continue reading novel excerpt 2.11 →

Novel Extract 7.4

“Have you ever seen Fight Club?” I clicked back into reality. “What?” I turned away from the window and looked for where the voice came from. “The film, Fight Club. have you ever seen it?” An old man across the aisle was staring at me, waiting for an answer. “No.” I managed a gruff response. … Continue reading Novel Extract 7.4 →

hall of pig

The big room felt suffocating. High ceilings with heavy red curtains, absolutely everything rimmed or lined with gold. The smell of the hog roast was inescapable. I never liked hog. A polite young girl offered her tray of champagne towards me. I pick up two. She smiled and I winked at her. I only came … Continue reading hall of pig →

head butt through 27.3

my scars are all i hold to my name i collect them, slowly, eagerly. they glitter and shine on my tired skin, as badges of honour as testaments to stoves too hot or nose bones too sharp for small fists as ‘brave girl’ stickers from the dentist. show me your teeth try not to smile … Continue reading head butt through 27.3 →

disruption in my gut 25.2

his face opened up like a flower, causing disruption in my gut. the cheap deckchairs barely holding us afloat. there’s three cigarettes left in the pack we share, with the sun setting we aim to time it so to empty the packet by dark. you chose this spot, near the cliff edge. i told you … Continue reading disruption in my gut 25.2 →

damage: collateral 27.10

i am blessed with snake eyes. lines of poetry explode behind my eyes like fireworks. sometimes i think of what could’ve been if things had gone differently. is it my fault? did i create the current situations? if so, i am sorry. not for you, but for me you’re happier than i could ever make … Continue reading damage: collateral 27.10 →

Untitled 8.6

why do you look at me like that? why do you step closer each time something is revealed about me, as if you’re intrigued? don’t be. there’s nothing to wonder, nothing to uncover or discover about me. does it disappoint you? i’m not a thing that needs saving needs grabbing by the collar and pulled … Continue reading Untitled 8.6 →