novel excerpt 8.9

“i just want someone to think i’m not stupid.” i half-cried, exasperated. “no one thinks your stupid.” he scoffed, i could tell he wasn’t taking me seriously, again. “yes, you do.” i pointed my index finger at him, he got off the sofa then and walked into the kitchen. “my fault again, i’m the bad … Continue reading novel excerpt 8.9 →

Novel Extract 7.4

“Have you ever seen Fight Club?” I clicked back into reality. “What?” I turned away from the window and looked for where the voice came from. “The film, Fight Club. have you ever seen it?” An old man across the aisle was staring at me, waiting for an answer. “No.” I managed a gruff response. … Continue reading Novel Extract 7.4 →

slagging myself off again 26.7

it’s too much of a good thing so it’s terrible. the worst, the way it consumes me so much more than i consume it. it doesn’t matter because none of it does, not really. i’m not a person, not really. just an accumulation of all the worst things; bad habits E numbers train station hand … Continue reading slagging myself off again 26.7 →

things you should accomplish before you die 27.2

sometimes the world shouts at me. i say that, i’m pretty sure its just my inner monologue. either way every now and then i am surrounded by these piercing screams things i should be doing or saying or learning or reading. YOU SHOULD HAVE AN ARSENAL OF COOKING RECIPES IN YOUR BRAIN BY NOW. YES, … Continue reading things you should accomplish before you die 27.2 →

another poem about sex 25.3

smoke drifting from finger tips the flames extinguished by a tongue coated in wine. it envelopes my brain, insertion and removal over and over a dizzying action in darkness. for now just a fantasy i watch like the sun. it disappears over the mountain. i’m pulling teeth until it can reappear in the embodiment of … Continue reading another poem about sex 25.3 →

he makes me mad 13.3

here i long to stay safe in the comfort of loving madness. the over and over sounds of skin on skin and squeezes and sighs. we settle into it a little bit too easily, all longing gazes and crossing fingers that it won’t hurt eventually. two narcissistic pessimists falling and falling and falling will it … Continue reading he makes me mad 13.3 →

head butt through 27.3

my scars are all i hold to my name i collect them, slowly, eagerly. they glitter and shine on my tired skin, as badges of honour as testaments to stoves too hot or nose bones too sharp for small fists as ‘brave girl’ stickers from the dentist. show me your teeth try not to smile … Continue reading head butt through 27.3 →

disruption in my gut 25.2

his face opened up like a flower, causing disruption in my gut. the cheap deckchairs barely holding us afloat. there’s three cigarettes left in the pack we share, with the sun setting we aim to time it so to empty the packet by dark. you chose this spot, near the cliff edge. i told you … Continue reading disruption in my gut 25.2 →

bad 27.1

walking with a limp and a fag on huffing nail polish remover hands turning purple and cold i wanna get hit by a car i wanna eat an unlit cigarette i wanna dance with the devil i wanna suck the life out of the moon fuck off your job and come run with me take … Continue reading bad 27.1 →

sunday best 9.1

my sunday best is my h&m underpants with the hole in. no bra and an oversized t shirt smeared mascara and furry tongue. my sunday best is the sun splashing onto my hairy shins through the slats of the blinds. head pounding weak knees my sunday best is being left completely alone.